Tuesday, April 5, 2016

impatience and indecision

In January I learned how to crochet and it has pretty much ruined my life and the lives of my family.

"What's for dinner, mom?"

"Hmmm, I'm not really sure. Unless you want to eat one of these four blankets I have crocheted then I'm not really sure..."

"Do I have any clean laundry, mom?"

"Hmmmm, I do not believe so. But hold up, if you give me a couple days I will crochet you something to wear. It'll be super cool. I promise."

"Mom, can we go do something fun. Maybe outside? Or maybe you could drive us somewhere fun?"

"Hmmmm, no."


"Because crochet."

I just want to crochet all the time. Everything. And anything. And all the bloody things. Everything wants, no needs, to be crocheted. By me.

I am having a love affair with Crochet.

I have come to discover in the last four months, since Crochet moved in, that this particular art comes with a few sets of problems. And these problems don't suit my nature. And by nature, I mean the demons that live inside me which determine whether or not I can accomplish something.

Turns out I have a demon that has been hibernating inside the deep recesses of my crafting soul. And that is the Never-Satisfied-With-My-Yarn-Choices demon. That demon, we will name Indecision, because that's what it is. Plus, it is different than Impatience, which is the demon that has plagued me most of my life.

It is probably quite conceivable that I have been to the yarn store no less than 11 times in the last 9 days due to Indecision. Blast that Indecision. He is a thorn unto me!

But, over the last 21 years, Impatience and I have come to an understanding of sorts. And that understanding is the man. This is how it goes:

I try something for 1 second.
It frustrates me.
I throw an epic temper tantrum.
The man steps in and fixes it.

We really appreciate the man around here.

Impatience has reared its ugly head in exponential proportions as of late, since Crochet has moved in and turned everything all topsy turvy around here.

Yarn is a necessity of crochet. But, yarn is also a product of the devil. Because it tangles. And tangles upset Impatience immensely.  I will now use pictures to show you what has become of my home. Because words alone will not suffice.

Excuse the crappy, night time iPhone shots. We work with what we have around here.

Many hours of The Office was watched while the detangling happened.

Red yarn, grey yarn, variegated yarn. We don't discriminate.


                             He is a good man. A patient man. And clearly one with a disorder.

     His face may indicate that he isn't loving every minute of this but, trust me, that's his happy face.