Tuesday, October 1, 2013

things i learned at university, part 2. and my birthday month

Okay, all right. Okay, all right. Okay, here we go...

It's October!! I know, I know. October happens every year. But..... it isn't every year that I turn 40!!!


In 9 days I will be FORTY years old. I simply can not believe it. I remember when 40 was old. In the olden days. My olden days. When 40 was old.

I know, I know, I don't look a day over 26. You're so kind.

Stop it!

I had so many plans for my life that included a due date of 40. Not all of them happened. It's okay.

It's gonna have to be, isn't it?

I don't think I'll spend too much time on this blog post since it's making me ponder my life and I don't really think I want to do that quite yet. It does make me feel a little anxious though thinking about all the things I still want to do and have. Or maybe that's just me coming off anxiety meds, which, by the way, turned me into a homicidal, apathetic maniac for about 10 days. I'm good now, though.

That's a different post entirely.

So, my 40's should include things I've never had before. Like a career. And maybe a few less kids. And maybe even a grandchild if Cicely follows the same road I did.

HOLY CRAP!!! Did I just say grand kids?? Whoaaaaaaa nelly.....this post is done. There are not enough anxiety drugs in the world to process that.

I wasn't even thinking about grand kids when I started this stupid post.

Talking about stupid, let's talk about university and some of the things I witness while I'm there. The other day I went to class. It was paper handing in day. So I handed in my paper and took a seat. Then a line of students formed to hand in their papers. A girl got to the front of the line, looked at the prof in the eyes and said this, "Do you have a stapler?"

Now, maybe it's just me and my abrasive personality (the man told me once that I have an abrasive personality. Nice) but "do you have a stapler?" Really?? Did you just ask the professoress if she was carrying a stapler around the university on her VERY OWN person?

I was agog. I was aghast. Could Marius be in love at last?

Whoa, I just went into Les Mis mode there for sec. Excuse me, I apologize.

Maybe my brother Paul can weigh in on this issue, since he is a university professor and probably sees all kinds of stupid on a regular basis. The issue is this: how ridiculous is it that a student would bring a paper to class NOT ALREADY FASTENED?

It's not just me, right? Surely this isn't just me.....

So, while I was giving my own head a shake because it's either that or smack some poor young adult for being generally not bright, the professoress began a lecture on why it is not her responsibility to provide the fasteners for our papers. She may have said things like "this is a 500 level course" and "it might be good practice for you to carry your own staplers" and "at some point you need to think about this stuff for yourselves. At home. Where your stapler is" and "how is it that your paper is not already stapled?"

All the things I was thinking as I was shaking my head. I felt closer to her in that moment.

Anyway, while she ranted away something happened. Something I, to this day, still can not believe. A young man reached the front of the line and when the professoress took a breath he chose that precise moment in time to ask a question.

"Excuse me, do you have a stapler?"

**this is a true story. The events of this story have not been altered in any way. And no, the professoress did not murder this brain dead child. And against every fibre of my being, neither did I.


  1. Ha ha ha. That is awesome. The first girl may have been a little dumb.... but the second boy who asked during the rant.... I don't even know what to say about that. I think that goes beyond dumb.

  2. I too have witnessed people looking for a stapler to hand in their paper and I had the same thoughts.
    But wow... that's hilarious.