Well, there is less than 24 hours left of my thirties. I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I don't feel bad about it. Or afraid, or anxious or upset. I just feel like I should be.....
feeling something? I don't know how to describe it. It seems pretty monumental to me. To be turning 40 and still feel like I am only 28 seems monumental to me.
No? Well, okay then...
Tomorrow I will be 40. I will not be in my 30's anymore. I feel like I've been in my thirties forever. I hope my 40's take forever too. Because to feel like I am 28 for 10 more years sounds pretty wicked, if you ask me.
And you should be asking me.
Because tomorrow is my 40th birthday.
This is HUGE!!!
I am still in the planning stages of my 40th birthday day. I want it to be a good day. It should be a good day but it doesn't have to be epic. I mean, it could be epic. Maybe it will be. Maybe tomorrow, as I run about doing all the things that didn't get the memo that it is my birthday and therefore did not declare themselves closed on what should obviously be a national holiday, something epic will happen. Like my hip won't hurt as I powerwalk on campus to class. Or I will be filled with vigor, which is the complete opposite of how I have been feeling lately. (I know I said I still felt 28 but you should know I was very tired when I was 28. Very very sleepy) Or maybe dinner will make itself and the trip to Walmart I must take won't suck. Or maybe Crave cupcakes will move into my kitchen and make me delicious and rich, yet fat free and zero calorie cupcakes all day.
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
I'm sure we can make the dinner making itself thing happen. In fact, let's make that happen, shall we?
So, two days ago, one of my dreams came true. Well, part one of one of my dreams came true. I received a juror summons in the mail.
Now, most people will tell you what a horrible thing this is but I am here to tell you how for the last 22 years of my life I have been waiting, ever so patiently, for this to happen to me. And thank heavens it happened in my 30's because can you imagine?? Nick of time, I tell you, nick of time.
Kidding. I will hold out hope it will happen again and it could easily have happened in my 20's. It may have been easier to accommodate in my 20's but right now? In my very early 40's? It can't happen now because who the heck has time for jury duty?
For my 40th birthday I would like someone to make time for me to be on jury duty so I can fulfill part two of one of my dreams. And that is to serve on a jury. And on a super cool jury too. One that gets sequestered and goes on and on and the case is something the movies are made of.
This sounds like heaven to me. Totally awesome, and this is not even remotely sarcastic. (Sometimes I feel the need to clarify when I am being sarcastic because people just assume that if my lips are moving then I must be being sarcastic, and I'm not. I am dead serious, people.)
Oh well, I filled out the part of the form that asked why I thought I could not serve on a jury. It may have said something like "six kids" and "university student" and "you're on crack if you think I have time for this". I may have sealed the envelope with my tears and sent it back today.
Bucket lists can be harsh, cruel reminders of all your dreams not coming true.
So, in closing, I will tell you that this will be my last blog post of my 30's. I feel like it deserves a hot bath and a massage but it won't get one because I've been naughty. I have been too busy foiling surprise birthday party plans and offending siblings to draw a hot bath and book massages.
Shamefully naughty, I say.
Hmmmm, I wonder what kind of trouble I can get up to now. I do have about 8 hours left to roll out of this decade hard core.
Maybe I should go rob a bank before I am considered too mature for such a thing...
Fare thee well, thirties. You were good to me and I loved you very much. But now I need to move on, and I promise I will remember you fondly. And often.
Just like it was yesterday...