Tuesday, July 2, 2013

hell's kitchen

I don't know what's going on here but it seems almost apocalyptic. First there is a flooding in all the land and then Satan turned up the heat. The heat has hit boiling point. You know how I know?

Because I am boiling.

Boiling freaking hot. I can hardly stand it. I want to hurt someone. I have reached curse mode. We are cursing here, people. It is that hot. The a/c in my truck doesn't work and I have never before been so deeply offended. How dare it!?!

The people of my kingdom asked, "what's for supper?" And I thought to myself, 'they are kidding right? No one wants to eat in this heat. This is what ice water is for.'

But no, they meant actual food. So I stood at the stove and cooked ground beef for taco salad, because that meant the oven could stay off and that is a good thing. But, would you know it? The burners on the stove get flipping hot too and that made me melt and by the time I had cooked half a cow I was dripping with sweat and hating the people of my kingdom. And then Amelia may have blurted out the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. She may have said something to the effect of, "I don't like taco salad." Actually, that is exactly what she said. Word for word.

I may have thrown a bowl.

At her.

And then all the people may have eaten their body weights in taco salad while I pushed mine around my bowl.

Too hot to eat. That's a new one.

And then!!! And then!!! And then the wonderful mayor of our land told us to turn off all the stuff! The heat is sucking all the power and we need to cool it on the coolers. You know?

No! Nenshi! I don't know. What I do know is that you may be dealing with a homicidal housewife PDQ if you make me turn off the a/c that is blaring in my bedroom and keeping me sane.

Poor Nenshi, I hope he's not melting in his office where I'm sure the a/c is not on. It better not be on, Nenshi! You hear me?

So anyway...I am neglecting the people of this house as I study for this never ending spring course I am taking. It's July. It is July and I am studying for my psyc final. This spring class has just about done me in. Never again will I take an all day Saturday class. Especially during flood season where stuff gets postponed a couple of weeks and you end up having finals to study for when all the kids are off school and home ALL THE TIME. Remind me I said that when I get the hankering for an all day Saturday class. What a terrible idea that turned out to be. This class had been a thorn in my side, to say the least.

So anyway...I lead a glamorous life, where there is no end to the complaining about the weather. And stuff.

Last night I took a cold shower before bed because I was melting and whining and carrying on unlike anything one could ever imagine. I said to the man, "How much regret do you have in marrying me?"

He responded with, "None. Zero." And I thought, 'Awwwwww, he is the very best.' And then he said, "I do, however, wish you didn't complain so much."

Blergh. Let's hope he doesn't stop by my blog tonight....


  1. Here is to cooler weather and children who don't want to eat!

  2. From one extreme in weather to another. It sucks.
    I know what you mean about not wanting to cook. I waited til Cam came home from work, asked him what he thought we should eat, then I said I needed to walk over to a neighbor's house for something... to which I may or may not have totally dragged my feet to, in the hopes that dinner would be started by time I came home.... only to see the family climb into the car. It was dinner at McDonalds last night. Too hot too cook. And too hot to sleep!!