Once upon a time there was a girl named Erin. Erin posted on Facebook that "candy crush saga is crushing my soul, I'm so addicted."
Addicted to a video game? That is absurd. Who gets so into a silly game that they feel they need to confess said addiction on Facebook? Come on, now. It's ridiculous.
We will not discuss the torrid relationship I may have had with Plants vs. Zombies. That's none of your business.
Immediately I looked up Candy Crush Saga in the app store. I mean, I may have stumbled across it.
It was free. I'm all about the free. So I downloaded it. And then I ignored it because really, as if I need one more thing to be addicted to.
Until last night. Last night I had a killer stomach ache. I was restless and ill and frustrated. I opened the app and figured out the stupid game and then played. And played. And played and played and played.
And then I died. And died. And died and died and died. The game told me I had to wait many many minutes to play again. Um, I don't think so. So I deleted the app and reinstalled it and played and played and played.
And then my phone died.
When I went to sleep last night I saw candies being crushed behind my eyelids. They were moving into place to make rows, to reach goals, to move on to the next levels.
I craved sugar until I passed out.
This morning I had an appointment with my English professor to discuss my confusion regarding the paper due next week. He uses big words. When he talks I have to concentrate real hard-like because it's jagged, not fluent, disconnected and disjointed. He has ADHD speech. Lots to say. It's all over the place and after a couple of sentences I have to give my head a shake.
"Just spit it out, man!" I want to say. I get so exhausted in class after 75 minutes of trying to follow his speedy thoughts.
This morning, as he spoke his big, fancy, university type words, I stared at his face. I was losing myself. I couldn't hear what he was saying. I wanted to shake my head but he would surely notice that, he was looking right at me.
"Focus." I repeated in my mind. "You have to concentrate." I begged myself. "Do you not want to do well on this paper?" I tried to bring myself back into the moment. "What is the matter with you?"
But all I think, all I could see, was that if I could just move his big fancy, sprinkled candy nose between his candy eyes I could crush that candy!