I was going to vlog today, I really really was. I took a shower, did my hair and makeup. Then I got dealt a blow that left me unable to look myself in the eye.
I can't look myself in the eye.
I'm not ready to talk about it yet. One day I will look back and shake my head in dismay but until then I can't look myself in the eye.
I messed up big time and it cost me. I have no one to blame but myself. I am ashamed and upset and feeling like a plain old dummy. It's not life shattering, it's not even that interesting but it's why I can't vlog today.
It did fuel my fire though and I wrote an impassioned paper on why woman are awesome. Actually, I wanted to but I was only allowed 1500 words and at 1200 I started to feel the fire within me burn. And then I had to wrap it up.
Some days are good and some days are not so good. I am wearing a frown that is pulling me down to the ground. And a belly ache. I want to drown my sorrows in whip cream and chocolate cake and a really big Blizzard from the Dairy Queen. The Dairy Queen is sporting the Chocolate Candy Shop Blizzard this month and if that isn't screaming wallow I don't know what it is.
This is some serious pity party, isn't it?
For the record, I have no intention of eating all that crap, I just want to. Get it?
Yeah, you get it...
I may have to forgo the meeting I am supposed to be at tonight as I do not see it making things better. I should go to a movie. That would make things better, it always does.
Let's just ignore how cryptic this is and move on to tomorrow as quickly as possible.
What do you do when the pity party gets raucous?