Wednesday, November 7, 2012

numb bum and the oh henry

I don't know what it is about Wednesday afternoons but I am always sleepy on Wednesday afternoons. I come home from school and fight a couch crash all afternoon long. It's torture.

Right now I am waiting for eggs to boil because I want me some egg salad. Without yokes, course.

So, last night was the election but we're not going to talk about the rage in my soul induced by said election. I will say this though, I hate politics so much I can't even find the words to express myself coherently. It just seems that election time brings out the nasty in people and I never walk away from an election without losing respect for many a soul.

Enough said because I'm PMSing and this could get ugly.

Speaking of ugly, I am having a terrible hair day and I just put on my fat pants.

Speaking of fat pants......just kidding, I will not speak of fat pants.

The man is coming home tonight for a few days. Apparently he's going to court tomorrow morning to sue the pants off a developer who paid some guy to pay the man but then that guy kept the money after the job got done and someone here is a lying skunk and I'll give you one guess and a hint as to who it is. It isn't the man nor is it the developer but alas.....what are you gonna do? Someone has to get sued.


You know who I want to sue? Halloween. I want to sue Halloween for 362 billion dollars for pain and suffering. First of all, it was cold this year. AmIright? Like really butt-fetching cold. Actually, I literally had numb bum.

My bum was numb.

It was so cold the people in the houses felt bad for the children and were putting handfuls of candy into their bags.

Secondly, candy by the handful? What is this insanity? There was so much candy. In years past I have let my children go hog wild with their candy. Eat it till it's gone, is how I mother children with candy. It's usually gone within two days. I can hold out for two days and then I don't have to worry about all the disgusting goodness tempting me from little Halloween bags in the corner.

Not this this year. Still gads of candy left. And why are Reese Peanut Butter cups so dang tasty? And those cute little brown Oh Henry's??

I love you, cute little brown Oh Henry's. I love you.

Let's review, when it's freezing outside and you have only an hour left to live because it is so freezing cold the children get three times as much candy?

Next year, warmer weather please. My bum thanks you. In more ways than one.


  1. I don't know if you're going to be insulted, but you're pretty darn funny when you're angry.

    Me? I just sound yippy and shrewish.

    Let me know if I can get in on that class-action Halloween lawsuit.

  2. Btw, you are in your fat pants b.c of the Halloween candy.