Monday, July 2, 2012

rock of ages

Finally. Finally after, like, days and days of waiting. Finally I saw it. The movie that I have been dying to see since I saw the trailer in March.

Rock of Ages.

Laugh if you will. It's fine, I can take it. I know my oldest brother is laughing at me. He's the rude one. And my next older brother, the one who thought Mulholland Drive was brilliant? Let's not go there. And my baby brother? Well, he thought it was just okay. But I know in my soul that if he just opened his heart and his mind and then he'd be free to love as I love.

Ohhhhh, these movies with singing and dancing in them. What is it about these movies that make me gleeful? Like happy beyond what I can contain.

I saw Mamma Mia in the theatre four times.

Enough said.

There was only one guy at Rock of Ages more excited to see it than me. He was the one in the back snorting at the jokes and singing full out every time a new song came on. No one bothered shushing him. And really? Why would they?

Sister Christian, oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say


Here is my critique of the movie. Besides the fact that it was awesome what I have decided about it is:

1. Julianne Hough is gorgeous but sounded like a bit of a chipmunk when she sang. And she didn't nearly dance enough.

2. Alec Baldwin. His gay Dennis is as hilarious as his straight Jack Donaghy.

3. Russel Brand never ever ever disappoints.

Like ever. He should be in every movie ever made. Every single one. Except maybe Jane Austen movies.

4. Paul Giamatti is slimy and gross and mostly always appropriately cast.

5. Catherine Zeta-Jones. Where has she been? She is awesome. And talented. And awesome.

What is that anyway? Can every actor sing as well as act? I love the talent and I love that it is mostly hidden and then all of sudden Tom Cruise busts out a Poison song. And a Bon Jovi song. And Def Leppard song. And convinces us, the audience, that he is indeed the decrepit rock star he is paid but a meager salary to portray on the silver screen.

That guy can sing. Who knew?

But I do have one question. Why so crooked? Why did he walk around crooked in the entire movie? Like he was facing one direction but walking in a completely different direction.

All gumby-like.

It was weird and I didn't get it. If that's a rock star thing then I haven't seen many rock stars walk.

This is quite possible.

6. The rating was wrong. All wrong. The movie was raunchy and not something I want my 14 year old daughter to see. Call me a prude.

Just not to my face. Please and thank-you.

When it was all done the man exclaimed, "that was awesome!"

I totally agreed.

Enough said.


  1. I LOVE Mamma Mia and really want to see this too. But I'll likely have to wait till its on dvd, or scurry away to a theatre all alone.

  2. Was I right? I was right!

  3. Awesome! This is why I love you and we could totally be friends. I've wanted to see the movie. I will take my kids though because it eases my recent bout of mother guilt. But I am a Tom Cruise fan, and I don't care who knows, and I OWN the Mamma Mia DVD after having seen it in theatres twice. So now you're my bestie!