Friday, June 22, 2012

so, it's friday..........

Busy week around here. Okay, not really. I did, however, get some interesting mail. I finally received my official acceptance in the University of Calgary. On Monday I meet with someone to help me pick my courses because, let's face it, I haven't acted smart in like 14 years and I have no idea what I'm doing. I need me some help.

I also received the course I'm doing through correspondence over the summer.

I'm nervous as all get out about the whole thing. When I think about it I pretty much want to lose my lunch. What have I done what have I done whathaveIdone?

I met with a clinician at a sleep clinic yesterday. I took a test to get things started. She added up the score and told me I got 16. Then she looked me dead in the eye, and without flinching she said, "Anything over ten means your pathologically sleepy."

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud. Actually it was more like a guffaw because I couldn't contain it.

She smiled and replied, "yeah, most people get a kick out of that diagnosis. Aren't you glad you came in today?"

Then she fitted me for this sexy beast...........

....which I would have taken a picture of on my head last night but I was already in bed with it on before I had the idea and being that it was so late and I was pooped I opted to forgo.

I was told that to calibrate it I had to lie flat on my back, no pillow, press the button and then not move a muscle until "the lady spoke and told me what to do." I was also told to let the man know that this would be happening and that if it fell off in the night the woman would speak and let him know to wake me up (like I wouldn't be awake) and to not freak out that there was a loud woman, who wasn't me for once, yelling at him in the night.

I got home late from book club, where we discussed True Confections and if you love your life you won't waste your time reading this atrocity, and the man was already in bed asleep. I put the head gear on and laid down in my flat, not moving position. I pressed the button. This booming voice yelled into the night to not move and lay still staring at the ceiling and the man just about came out of his skin. He started reaching and grabbing for me in a panic. I had to shush him away so as to not ruin my delicate calibrating.

It was hilarious. And then the loud woman told me to go to sleep. So I did.

Anyway, the gear was obnoxious to wear and gave me a terrible headache in the night. I hate wearing things on my head, always have. Plus, there was the nose thing that tickled me all night long. And despite the sleeping pill I took, at their request, I slept like garbage. I was told they need 5 hours of sleep or I'd have to wear it again. I put it on at midnight and ripped it off at 5:55. It better be enough. I also know I woke up twice in that time. We'll see what the results are. I don't know what the next step is but I truly hope it isn't sleep apnea because I am not wearing one of those darth vader masks.

That would be awful.

You know what's awful? Me. And Jack. Laughing at the dog every time she bumps into something.

She got her lady bits fixed up. Amelia simply can't believe that we would keep Lizzie from having little itty bitty Lizzie babies. Nothing screams perfection, in her little mind, like the idea of millions of Lizzies roaming the earth. It's hard to explain that to a 6 year old but tried I did. And now every time she sees Lizzie she says something like this, "I'm sorry mommy said you aren't allowed to have babies. And I'm sorry you have to wear this funny cone. But it's okay Lizzie because it's funny and it makes us laugh and that is a good thing, right lizzie? Right Lizzie? Right Lizzie?"

Right, Lizzie? Is a phrase I hear in my sleep at this point.

I am haunted by the child asking Lizzie her opinion on every single thing.

It's a beautiful day, right Lizzie?

You're a good girl, right Lizzie?

No jumping, no barking, no teeth, right Lizzie?

You like the red treat, right Lizzie?

Right, Lizzie?

Oh would you look at that, Lizzie just walked into the couch....again.

The entertainment is endless.

Poor poor Lizzie..........


  1. OH my goodness Catherine - that was hilarious! Made me laugh out loud. I can just imagine that loud voice scaring Darcy half to death!!

  2. What do you think of Dovekeepers? It was our book club selection last month.

    I giggled at the woman waking D up. A LOT. Does this make me a bad person?

  3. Hahaha! That thing is supposed to HELP you sleep? Poor Lizzie, but it is hilarious to watch them walk into things.

  4. Oh, don't get me started about the Darth mask. I never would have expected my husband to go to the dark side, but he has and what a change it has been. That sleep study contraption sounds cool! Well, cool in comparison to sleeping at the hospital with electrodes connected to your head while someone watches you on a video screen (that has got to feel sort of creepy) while you try to sleep...nevermind, it's not cool. None of it is cool. I hope you don't have sleep apnea!

    1. I got my call on Friday from the sleep clinic to book my "test". Now I know what I, and my husband, can look forward too lol. At least it's at home, my mom reminded me of her sleep study at a hospital, with people acctually watching her sleep. I sort of thought it was still that way!

    2. The home sleep test is the first step. The in clinic sleeping is next. Good luck.

  5. Poor Lizzie, she is sweet but after a weekend with her I would concur that the world does not need any more Lizzie's.