Thursday, June 7, 2012

a conversation. with a moral.

It's that time again for the annual boys only golf trip. They leave tomorrow morning, at 5 am, and I do declare, I think the man might be getting excited about it. It's hard for him to get excited about things that take him away from work and the pressure of being the provider. He is self employed, his benefits aren't the same as others. He takes a day off? He doesn't get paid. It's as easy as that. And he has a hard time with it.

So I asked him to dinner tonight for date night seeing as he'll be gone all weekend. He said yes to this request, sort of, not entirely but sort of, hesitantly.

Anyway, he's a funny cat. That man of mine. This is a conversation we had last night. Or maybe he had. With himself, out loud, for which I was present.

Man: I am taking tomorrow off work because my truck is dying and I need to get it fixed. Maybe I can find some place to fix it while I'm away golfing.

Me: That would be swell. Plus, you'll get a day off. With me. We can........hang out. Maybe have our date during the day.

Man: (silence)

Long pause. Carry on.

Man: So this is what I was thinking I'd do and let me know if you can help me out. Can you follow me to wherever I end up taking my truck to get fixed and then drive me to Airdrie so I can pick up the POS van? (I will explain the POS van later. For now all you need to know is it's his work van. Like a giant tool shed)

Me: Sure. I have nothing to do tomorrow. Free as a birdie. (Hint hint)

Man: Then I'll go to Panorama to build some decks and then I'll come home and build stairs off our deck. And then, if we have time, we can go for dinner.

Me, in my head: Hmmmm, sounds like an awesome and productive plan and not at all like you are taking the day off work.

Interesting fellow, he is. So now I sit here doing my writing things that will one day make me millions and he is at work......not working.

I know I speak the code but that doesn't mean the code always makes sense.

Make sense?

So yesterday, as Holden was climbing into the truck after school he said: Tomorrow night (tonight) is the Celebration of Learning at the school.

Me: Oh yeah? What does that mean? (I ask not only to give him the opportunity to talk to me after a long day at school but also because I have no idea what the Celebration of Learning is. Yet, somehow, I feel as though I should know this)

Holden: We just walk around and show you our stuff. Do you wanna go?

Me, all sweet and stuff: Do you want me to go?

Holden: Mmmmm, I don't care.

Me: Do you like chocolate bars Holden?

Holden: YES!

Me: Would you rather have a chocolate bar or go to the celebration of learning?

Holden: A chocolate bar!!!!!

Me: Done.

It was quiet for a minute and then Amelia piped in and said: Maybe he can get his chocolate bar at the same time you buy me mine for not doing soccer this year.

And therein lies all the proof one needs to prove that I am a terrible parent.

And that also, my kids have very low standards.

The moral of this story is that I do not have to go to the Celebration of Learning and all it cost me was a chocolate bar and that because of that I can go out for dinner with the man but only if he has time after not working all day.

I don't think I understand the definition of 'moral'.


  1. I cannot stop laughing. That is brilliant. I'm going to stock up on chocolate bars.

  2. I should just give in and go the chocolate bar route. I'm pretty sure it has a high success rate!

  3. Love it! My husband loves chocolate bars too wonder if it would work on him too??