Wednesday, February 15, 2012

lamenting: the female teenager

This morning was a roller coaster of emotion. Female emotion. It caused within me a swelling. A desire to lament out loud. A song of unfairness at my station in life.

If I was a songwriter I would sing to you a song about how undeserved the harshness I received this morning was. How I didn't ask for it. I didn't deserve it. I didn't want it and I certainly didn't like it.

Use your imagination if you will. Imagine me being the loving mother, my soul purpose in life to guide the chicks into the world and give them the best chance for success I can. I am the mother hen. I know things. Listen to me young one.

I am the bold. She is the italic. Because I am bold. And she is over dramatic.

Mom, can I have left over Chinese food for breakfast?







Because you aren't a 26 year old bachelor. Make yourself something a little healthier.

Later, as she was sitting to eat her pancake that she made for herself and no one else, I made a statement more to myself than to anyone else.

I have no idea what I'm going to make for your lunches today.

Can I have leftover Chinese food?

You want cold Chinese food for lunch?

We have microwaves.

Now, imagine that last sentence said with a note of disdain and a certain roll of the eyes that leaves one wondering first, if it hurts to roll ones eyes 360 degrees and second, how anything so simple as a question about cold Chinese food could illicit such snark and offence.

Why are you talking to me like that?

(Lesson one, don't ever ask that question after an eye roll)

Because you're talking to me like that.

The snark now is so thick I could have poured syrup on it and eaten it for breakfast.

I am not talking to you like anything. I asked a simple question.

(Lesson two, don't engage the beast. Walk away. Just walk way)

And I gave you a simple answer.

Her tone an octave higher than it normally is. Also, totally out of left field.

You can make your own damn lunch.

(Lesson three, one might be more inclined to swear after the beast has been engaged. I knew this but yet.......)

The child promptly got up and put every remnant of left over Chinese food into a rubbermaid container and put it in her back pack.

I hope she gets a belly ache.


  1. Aren't some days just WONDERFUL? gotta love hormones. I am in fact cursing them right now.

  2. Wonderful. All of it. God, I want an egg roll.

  3. it's like I'm looking into a crystal ball. I'm scared. Hold me.

  4. I like your rhyme. Did she get a belly ache?

  5. My 12 year old is the same way. She wants to eat leftover pizza, spaghetti, Chinese or a hotdog. I blame her father, the man who used to make an inlet and then top it with either: 1. A can of chili and sour cream or, 2. Leftover Chinese food.


    But, I've decided to pick my battles, so she eats cold leftovers for breakfast and I try not to gag.

  6. Been there, still there, such fun hormones are.