Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I've been burgled. And yes, it's a word. Look it up.

This morning when I got into my truck I was wondering why the glove box was open. And then I wondered why the centre console was open. And then I started to wonder what the man was looking for in his haste this morning.

And then I started to wonder why my burned cd's were all over the place. And then I wondered why the contents of the centre console were all over the seat. And then I wondered why the ash tray was open and hanging on by a thread.

Oh what? Don't act like you are all put together and super sleuthy in the morning. My wheels needed time to start turning. I have a head cold remember?

It was when I saw the sunglass holders in the roof of my truck open that I knew it was not the man rummaging for something but a stranger digging through my truck looking for something to steal from me.

Burgled. I was.

I tried to muster feelings of violation and dismay. Who would do such a thing? And in this neighbourhood where people are old and how did the burglar know I wasn't old and who would rob an old person?

I couldn't find the strength to get any further than that in my realization that I had been pillaged and plundered. That was as much alarm as I could assemble.

And this is why.

I have nothing of value in my vehicle. I barely have anything of value in my house. So if you want to rob me this is the list of things you can expect to steal from my truck:

One sugarplum lipgloss that may or may not be 7 years old.
Seven mix CD's that may or may not play because they, too, are old and scratched and unloved.
One Mamma Mia soundtrack. It doesn't have Chiquitita on it so........
One pair of sunglasses with one broken arm.
A plate. I don't know.........
Three dirty socks that don't match each other.
One flip flop. Yes, just one. Where is the other one? Again, I don't know.
A colouring book and 3 broken crayons from Boston Pizza.
Many many many sucker sticks and/or candy wrappers.
No pop cans because I cleaned them out yesterday.

A day late you burgling punk. Could have had at least 75 cents for that.

It helps to be a little bit trashy. And by a little bit I mean a lot trashy. Because the only thing of value I had in the truck was the loonie I keep in the ashtray for Superstore.

He stole my Superstore loonie.

So, my fair burgling friend, I hope you spend that loonie wisely and not all in one place. And next time? Just knock and I'll give you one of the children to sell on the black market.

I'm sure you'd get more than a buck for any one of them.


  1. NO.
    And probably one of the truest posts I have read in a long time. So funny!

  2. *gasp* the Superstore Looney?! I get so mad when hubby spends mine and then I have to go into the store to get change!!

  3. Did you know that you can buy a Superstore permanent loonie that goes on your keychain, so that no one can ever spend it?? (purchase at Customer Service)

    And hey, I have a Mamma Mia cd in my truck too--- with Chiquitita on it. I'd die if someone stole that! Glad they did not take yours.

    However I will re-mention a convo we had a little while regarding Receipts in our car. Did you have any receipts with a credit card number on it?? He may have been looking for that....

    1. Nope. No receipts. Seriously, there is nothing of value in any way shape or form in there. Occasionally there are kids in there but I take them out at night.

      My CD is the movie soundtrack. It doesn't have my fave song on it but I bought it anyway.

  4. I have the Superstore permanent loonie on my keychain and it is FAB. Not fab that you got burgled though. The only thing of value I have in van are car seats and a stroller. One would hope those would be safe but I guess deadbeats reproduce too.

  5. That lousy bastard! I too was burgled in the same way and I too thought my husband made the mess in my truck, so that made me chuckle; blame the man.... The sonnofabitch also got my superstore loonie which is sacred dammit! Ergonomics is up with that? It's a dollar! But worst of all he took my ipod. And it was the first day if stampede. How could I blare loud old country tunes out my truck windows without the ipod?

    1. That stinks. A true loss for the Stampede for sure.

  6. I've never been broken in to but I can't imagine I would feel super safe after that. How did they get into your truck? And yeah, other than my GPS there is nothing of value in my car either!
    Also, I have a permanent loonie on my keychain from Superstore - I LOVe it!!