This morning, on the way to school, I asked my kids what I should blog about today. Three of the four of them said The Virgin Diaries. The fourth said "me". I'll let you guess which of the four that was.
Me: The Virgin Diaries?
One of them: Yeah, you talked about it enough today.
Me: Well, honestly, you should have seen it. Well, no you shouldn't've, but I could tell you about the kissing at the end.
All of them: NO mom!!!!
Me: It was unreal. I feel like my eyeballs have been scorched. They were burning when I went to bed. I couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about the girl's father. He was a total pervert and said really inappropriate things.
Cicely: This conversation is inappropriate.
Me: It was horrific. I mean, what was she thinking? It was like she was eating his face.
Brief demonstration given by me. Appreciated by all.
Okay, not really.
Jack: Geez mom, you're grossing me out. Why do you watch that stuff? (he shuddered in his seat. Maybe I should have been an actress)
Me: Because if I don't keep up on the garbage they show on TLC I won't have anything to tell you Monday mornings. And Twitter would confuse me to death.
Cicely gave me a look that suggested I knock it off at that very moment or she may jump from a moving vehicle.
We wouldn't want that.
Amelia started to sing Jingle Bells and we drove in silence.
Me: You really should have seen it. I mean, who kisses like that? Isn't it supposed to be a natural thing? Do some people naturally have the urge to eat your face when they are kissing you? I feel trauma, people. Trauma.
It was at this point I noticed I was alone in the vehicle.
Me: Hey, where did everyone go? I wasn't done talking about my trauma.
Fickle. That's what they are. A bunch of fickle kids with no consideration for my poor nerves.
We set up the tree yesterday. I put black ornaments on it to match my house. It didn't have the BANG I was looking for. It's hard to get a good picture of it.
Jack said it was EMO. Ummmm, okay?
Amelia put the star on top and asked "Does the star bring the Christmas tree joy? "
She's about to lose her first tooth and the devastation is hovering around me like a vulture looking for a place to land and devour the scraps of cute. How will I survive it? The end of cute is near.
Can you feel it?