Monday, December 5, 2011

TLC's all time low

This morning, on the way to school, I asked my kids what I should blog about today. Three of the four of them said The Virgin Diaries. The fourth said "me". I'll let you guess which of the four that was.

Me: The Virgin Diaries?

One of them: Yeah, you talked about it enough today.

Me: Well, honestly, you should have seen it. Well, no you shouldn't've, but I could tell you about the kissing at the end.

All of them: NO mom!!!!

Me: It was unreal. I feel like my eyeballs have been scorched. They were burning when I went to bed. I couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about the girl's father. He was a total pervert and said really inappropriate things.

Cicely: This conversation is inappropriate.

Me: It was horrific. I mean, what was she thinking? It was like she was eating his face.

Brief demonstration given by me. Appreciated by all.

Okay, not really.

Jack: Geez mom, you're grossing me out. Why do you watch that stuff? (he shuddered in his seat. Maybe I should have been an actress)

Me: Because if I don't keep up on the garbage they show on TLC I won't have anything to tell you Monday mornings. And Twitter would confuse me to death.

Cicely gave me a look that suggested I knock it off at that very moment or she may jump from a moving vehicle.

We wouldn't want that.

Amelia started to sing Jingle Bells and we drove in silence.

Me: You really should have seen it. I mean, who kisses like that? Isn't it supposed to be a natural thing? Do some people naturally have the urge to eat your face when they are kissing you? I feel trauma, people. Trauma.

It was at this point I noticed I was alone in the vehicle.

Me: Hey, where did everyone go? I wasn't done talking about my trauma.

Fickle. That's what they are. A bunch of fickle kids with no consideration for my poor nerves.


We set up the tree yesterday. I put black ornaments on it to match my house. It didn't have the BANG I was looking for. It's hard to get a good picture of it.

Jack said it was EMO. Ummmm, okay?

Amelia put the star on top and asked "Does the star bring the Christmas tree joy? "

She's about to lose her first tooth and the devastation is hovering around me like a vulture looking for a place to land and devour the scraps of cute. How will I survive it? The end of cute is near.

Can you feel it?


  1. TLC thanks you for the Virgin Diaries plug. You do realize I need to see this damn show now.
    I personally don't know what my life would be like without TLC. If I wasn't making fun of the Toddlers in Tiara moms, I'd have to switch to the moms in my daughter's dance studio, and that might get me blackballed, and her kicked out, and well, I don't want her running away and having to turn to prostitution and drugs. So I watch TLC.

  2. Oh Em Gee, I watched that and seriously hoped that throughout the evening their technique would improve, but alas.....

    I felt dirty WATCHING them kiss, I feel bad for when THEY saw what it looked like.

    Divine Ms. M

  3. I started watching it and after a couple minutes, Cam came down and sat beside me. It was only a matter of minutes before Cam said something along the lines of "This show is disgusting" and changed the channel. Me, I said "But I was going to watch more of that..."
    Alas, I didn't see more than 5 minutes of it. And the kissing... I do believe they showed a clip of it on their preview and it left me feeling utterly shocked and grossed out. Really? Who kisses like that? It's true, it's like they were going to eat each other. So disturbing.
    So, my question Catherine.... now that you're utterly disturbed by this show, are you going to be tuning into it next week??

  4. I've never seen the Virgin Diaries. But, if they are virgins-- why was there such a gross kiss???

    I LOVE the black bulbs. Very nice.

  5. I've never even heard of the Virgin Diaries. But we don't have TV. I'm pretty okay with that! Sounds disturbing!

  6. I wish I could have SEEN the demonstration :) Our car rides sound a Little bit BORING compared to yours .