Monday, December 19, 2011


My dearest, sweetest, most affable husband,

I just wanted to let you know how astonishing I think you are. How bewildered by your talents I am on a daily basis. How much I respect you for all your hard work and dedication to this family. Tis the season to let loved ones know how much we love them. To show our appreciation for them. What better place to announce my adulation and express my devotion to you than my blog? Where millions and millions and tens of people come for daily enlightenment.

So here I sit, thinking only of you. Wondering where your thoughts are this sunny, wintery day. It's 6 days until Christmas and our children, our jewels, are beside themselves with excitement and glee.

Cicely has finally announced what she wants for Christmas. Money. Isn't she helpful?

Jack is dying to finally get his birthday present. Never mind that his birthday was 3 months ago and I talked him into waiting until Christmas to get it. That kid is gullible, isn't he?

Holden is just hanging on by a thread. The anticipation may kill him yet. Or me. It's still undecided.

Amelia has finally laid down a mountain of regret. See, she forgot to ask Santa for a Lalaloopsy doll in her letter this year. It has burdened her tremendously, for she wants one more than words can express. She asked me to send the big guy an email and let him know there was an amendment to the letter. Watching a 5 year old live with this level of stress is difficult. A burden I have borne, willingly, for over a month.

But then, all was right with her world again when you waited so patiently with her at the ward Christmas party on Saturday so she could see Santa and tell him herself of her grievous error.

You are a good father. You may have saved the day. Or season. Or moment. Or whatever it is you are experiencing when you are 5.

However, I wanted to let you know something, in the gentlest way possible. Or remind you. Or point out. Or whatever might be the least offensive to you. When you are working hard, everyday, and cursing my station in life. When it is cold outside and your toes are frozen and aching to the point where you long for death. When you come home to find that we are eating ichiban and grilled cheese, again. When you run out of clean socks (which rarely happens since you have 263 pairs of them). When you find out I have watched an entire season of Friday Night Lights in one day whilst you were working. When you close your eyes tight and repeat three times "I wish I was her. I wish I was her. I wish I was her," only to open them and find yourself still at work and not at home, in your jammies, bons bons in one hand and a pepsi in the other.

I want you to remember one thing and one thing only.

I do all the Christmas shopping.

Every year.

All of it.

And because of my existence you are spared this particular nightmare.

It is my hope and dream for you that having this singular, most imperative nugget of information will make your days flow smoothly and without too much perturbation at what may appear to be a gross diverseness of our situations.

And remember, always, that I love you.

And sacrifice much for your happiness.

Yours always and forever,

P.S. I bought my Christmas present from you today despite the fact that we have an unwritten rule not to exchange gifts.

I'm sorry and......
you're welcome.



  1. LOL! I was saying to my husband the other day that I have so much left to do. Shopping, baking, wrapping. His response, "It's not that bad..." I could have killed him right then and there. He's lucky he still has his man parts!

  2. Laughing @ an entire season of Friday Night Lights!!!