Thursday, November 10, 2011

it was an accident, i swear

So I woke up a bit of a train wreck this morning. Just a little wreck though, nothing traffic stopping.

Look away! Look away!

I woke early, at 4:15, and I knew that my little blue lover was not fulfilling it's purpose. Sometimes it does that. Sometimes I pop the pill and it's like my doctor has slipped a placebo in there. If that's true then she did that on purpose because, well, she's like that.

Anyways, I suspected last night would be rough when an hour after I took it I was still staring up at the ceiling WIDE WAKE.

Why am I talking about this again? I didn't mean to, I swear. This is what happens when I'm tired. I talk....endlessly. And with no point. I do apologize.

No, actually, I don't. This is my blog so..........

After I started speaking to my people this morning I knew that I was officially cranky and therefore warned the masses. They ignored all warnings and walked straight towards the fiery wreck.

At this point I am not responsible for what happens to them. I did warn them. It's not my fault if they burn up in my wrath.

Just kidding. I don't have wrath.

Half way to school I adjusted the mirror so I could see Amelia's eyes. I wanted to teach her a little something about herself when, what do I behold? She is proving my point all over the place. See.....she was upset that she had forgotten her Canada flag at home, she wanted it for the Remembrance Day assembly today. The same assembly I am not going to because I "have really important things I need to do." The children don't know that I actually don't have anything 'important' to do. And no one needs to tell them. Youhearme?

Come on now! I can't be the only mom who 'doesn't do assemblies'.

Back to the wee child. I had asked her to put the flag in her back pack or else she would forget it because that's what she does. Naturally though, she ignored my stellar parental advice because that is ALSO what she does.

When she announced in the truck that she had forgotten it, I lowered the rearview mirror to see her sweet, sad eyes and hopefully teach her a little self awareness. This is when I noticed she wasn't wearing a coat.

I had to halt all talk about awareness....

"Where is your coat, young lady?"


...... because what kind of teacher/parent/grown up would I be if I pointed out to her that she should have just put the stupid flag in the back pack when I suggested it while the whole time I am preaching my preach she is sitting there in 2 degree weather with NO COAT ON?

Never you mind.

Last night I went to the Calgary Herald launch party for their new local blogger page of their online newspaper.

(Every time I try and type the word blogger I type blooger instead and have to fix it. Interesting.....)

Anyway, I was invited and I went and isn't that exciting? It was a fancy night, with fancy food, and fancy people from the Calgary Herald. They were wearing suits and dresses and stuff.

Here's the link:

It was an open bar. This is good news for two reasons. First of all, I didn't bring any cash and I was concerned that I'd have to go all night without a diet cola. But I didn't have to worry about it. That's how fancy it was.

Second, when I turned to my table, after watching a presenter, and took a ginormous sip of someone's alcoholic beverage by accident, because his glass was where my glass originally had been which had obviously (it's obvious now) been taken away by the wait staff who were so very efficient at their jobs, and just about barfed all over the table that person didn't need to be upset with me because he could just replace it for free. And isn't that great?

Yes, that was a run on sentence. Whatsyourpoint?

Which, when all was said and done, I see now that I should have just spit it back into the cup, instead of swallowing it, because !!seriously!! how does anyone drink that stuff? I thought it was poison. Imagine my shock when I thought it was my Diet Coke and it WAS NOT!!!

Gross. Ewww. Splat. Ick. Hiccup. Well I never......

So anyway. I felt defiled. And poisoned. Ugh.

It's the 10th today which means there are 7 days left in this never ending contest. And really, I am just sick of asking. It annoys me to be so beggy so I can only imagine how annoyed you all must be.

I may not ask anymore after today......... we'll see.

Circle of Moms Top 25 Canadian Mom Blogs

Go vote, if you feel so inclined.

For me....obviously.

As of tomorrow I will have four days with the kids home. All day. Everyday. How ever am I supposed to be a serious author with all the raucousness that is the roofers and now the children.

Oy vey......

I have almost 16,000 words of my book written which leaves me a tad behind but not too much.

Hmmmm....... maybe I should kill someone off today. That'd be fun. No?


  1. The story of your first taste test of alcohol made me snort a little. Whenever I SMELL the stuff I think the same thing...why would anyone want to DRINK it?

    I'm trying to go sugar free again during the holidays & I've decided that it's a good thing I've never tried anything addictive...I swear all I do is argue with myself all day about why I'm not going to give in to its sweet temptation!

  2. it was so very good to meet you last night....sorry you got a swig of some swill!!

  3. Oh Catherine- always so good to see you...and I know I say this a lot-- I love reading your blog. You write how my head talks. And its brilliant.

    HOW did I miss you take a swig of booze??? Where the heck was I??

  4. Maybe your issues this morning were a hangover....? Food for thought.

  5. I voted for you 'cause you're fabulous. Congrats on being a blogger in the Calgary Herald. Look at you rocking the blogging world! And yeah, I'm not an assembly mom at all. As a matter of fact, I didn't even go to my kid's grade 8 graduation. I told him I'll go when he actually graduates from grade 12. YOu know, incentive...