Thursday, September 29, 2011

my name is sona

My cub leader name is Sona. No one ever calls me that because no one ever speaks to me when I'm at cubs. The little cubs are scared of me and the other leaders just don't talk that much.

I do not enjoy my time at cubs, I'm not going to lie. I do my time. I get in and I get out. We have 23 cubs in our pack and most of them have the attention span of a gnat. It is frustrating, annoying and a real test of my patience.

Last night we went on a hike. At the beginning of this hike I felt that some parts of it were going to be blog worthy. Like the 45 minute drive to just get to the hike when I was told it was 25 min away. Or the tripping and falling Dom did on a regular basis. That was blog worthy. But, I was annoyed before it even started, due to the drive, so I figured I was going to have to find a way to turn my annoyance around to find the funny. Towards the end, however, I thought I wouldn't be able to talk about it at all because I was so furious and we all know that furious never turns to funny.

It isn't funny when what is supposed to be a 75 minute activity turns into an almost 4 hour activity. Even when you add 30 min to the original 75 to give more hiking time, 4 hours (almost) isn't funny. Especially when you are trying to corral a bunch of gnats into an organized, cohesive unit hiking through the mountains.

This was an actual hike. Not a leisurely walk. A hike. Up a mountain. We even had bear spray and the cougar talk. I was panting and sweating and trying not to be the only leader to fall down.

It was sort of funny that Akela's 5 year old son was there but couldn't walk, or so he thought, due to a tumble down his hard wood stairs earlier that day. She had to hike him up on her back.

Wait, no.....that's not funny at all. What was I thinking?

It was sort of funny when we got to the top and the sun was setting and that was first time any one of us had the idea that we were not going to make it out before the sun went down.

Again.......not funny. And walking in the dark 45 minutes back to the cars is not funny.

Not funny at all!

Realizing that we were going the wrong way, in the dark, and turning back with 14 out of 20 cubs is pretty dang funny. Did those 6 cubs have a grown up with them? Gosh I sure hope so. Funny, right?

No?? I didn't think so either.

Taking an hour to get home due to the 45 minute drive back I have already mentioned in this funny funny post and then dropping 4 boys off at their homes 60 minutes late is hilarious.

Is it not?

So since I am unable to find the funny anywhere in here let's not talk about the cub hike that could have turned into one of those nightmare "missing boy scout found mauled by cougar in the deep back woods" stories you hear about on the news and talk about poop instead.

Is it just me or is pooping hard sometimes? I know this isn't very lady like but pooping is real. Everyone does it so I figure......let's talk about it.


Many years ago I had an issue with my bowels. They didn't work right. Actually, they never worked right my entire life. I was one of those "I go every 13 days and it is a real ordeal when I do and that is just how it is" kind of girls.

I could tell you about the hospital applied enema I needed 9 days after my 3rd baby was born when I hadn't pooped in three weeks. Maybe one day I will, but that's a failure story and today is about triumph.

Not getting lost in the wilderness and poop. Both triumphant.

I was hooked on laxatives, years ago, and it wasn't pretty. I went online and researched poop and how to get it out. I read about colonics and cleanses. Then a friend recommended an acupuncturist whom he thought could help.

Whom? Who?......I don't know.

Long story short. She did. Help, that is. She made me poop. I became a "one poop a day" kind of girl.

Wagon fixed.

However, every now and then I have issues. If I don't eat right all the time I can get a little.......... backed up. Youknowwhatimean?

A few months ago I went to a very special lady's house and she showed me how to make her uber healthy, uber all natural, homemade granola. Cicely was homeschooling, she was taking 'foods', I thought we'd go do this and have it be a learning experience.

The granola was good, no question. I brought home the recipe and made my own. Within 12 hours of eating this stuff I have a poop that puts all regular proud of their poop poopers to shame.

It's euphoric and leaves me happy for a long time.

TMI? Sorry but you must know this. It's life changing stuff. Stay with me here, people. We aren't done.

So......if you need to poop and are tired of the poop battle let me know. I will send you the recipe for this amazing, low fat, all natural, good for you, poop inducing granola.

It will change your life, people. It will.

Everyone deserves a really good poop.



  1. I believe in a good poop! Life altering.

  2. Well I don't have a battle but I can enjoy can't I?

    Recipe please?

  3. You crack me up. I feel like I'm a good pooper. But after reading about your euphoria after the granola poop, I'm doubting myself. Pass on the granola recipe with the vegetarian recipes, please!

  4. I think you should just post the recipe on here Catherine.
    I personally don't have an issue, but I know someone else who would greatly benefit from this euphoric granola. So, how about passing the recipe onto me too...

  5. Just so you know, furious is funny to those who aren't experiencing it. Totally blog worthy! And I still have my poop granola recipe! I'm just too damn lazy to make it.

  6. I think you have one of the funnierst blogs ever. I love your writing, hunour and honesty!

    I have never had poop problems, but I have 2 kids who do. I would love your granola recipe.
    You can email me at jenny(dot)hill(at)shaw(dot)ca

  7. I'm thinking I'd like to get all my pooping done BEFORE I go to the hospital to have my baby, so I'd like to try your recipe as well.