Wednesday, April 13, 2011

here's johnny!

It is 9:13 am and I am drinking Diet Pepsi straight from a 2 litre bottle. I don't usually do that because it makes me feel like a hillbilly but I got 4 hours of sleep last night and I have been up since 3:43 am.

I stopped caring about being a hillbilly many hours ago.

I started to get all dozey and ready to snuggle back in when the knock knock knock began outside my bedroom window. Again.

The birds have stopped caring about the banging I reciprocate on my window with. They just peck away anyway. At least they have the decency to wait until almost 7 am. They have pecked through the rat poison we had kicking around in the garage. They have pecked through the foam we sprayed in to slow them down. They are officially inside the house building their little nest. I wonder if they'll care about the concrete we will be pouring down the hole later today.

Yesterday I went to Home Depot to see what they had for bird deterrents. All they had was this guy......

I named him Ollie Owl. But then this sassy princess.......

declared his name to be Johnny. Which reminded me of this.

Johnny is the perfect name.

The man put my new BFF outside my window last night. Before he did though, I gave Johnny a pep talk. I told him that he had a very important job to do and that my sanity was in his hands. I told him to show those birds who's boss. I told him to be the man-owl I knew him to be. I told him to please please please stop those little birds from taking what little mental stability I have left. I begged and pleaded. I put all my faith in his little plastic owl wing-hands.

7 am. Peck peck peck.

I hate you Johnny. You are the worst BFF EVER.

It will not be long before I am declared insane and then who knows what I will be capable of.

I am off to the pet store now. I will find a way.

*******Don't forget to come back tomorrow for my bloggy birthday. I have a couple very small tokens of my appreciation to give away. It isn't much but then neither is my blog.************


  1. Oooh...happy day before bloggy birthday!

  2. Apparently, the owl's name really is Ollie Owl. Cause if it was Johnny, I'm sure it would have scared those birdies away this morning.... especially if he was scary like Jack Nicholson's Johnny. Dumb birds. We always have birds that get in our bathroom vents and make nests and we haven't figured out how to get rid of them either.
    And.... happy early bloggy birthday!

  3. hmm sometimes I feel like nature is out to get us! I HATE birds in the morning - but I guess that just goes to show I am NOT a morning person :) Hope you figure out a way to get rid of them!

  4. I think its funny that you had to buy an owl! Last night as we were laying in bed, we could hear not 1 but 2 owls on our roof cooing at each other.

    Probably romancing one another.

    At least someone was getting some romance..... ;)