Tuesday, February 1, 2011

lice, lice baby

I want to publicly thank Jess for the inspiration behind this blog post title. Ever since she posted about her cute baby being able to eat rice again I haven't been able to get Vanilla Ice's stupid song out of my head.

All right, stop. Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with my brand new invention.
Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.
Will it ever stop? Yo! I don't know.

Is it stuck in your head now, Jess?

Good, serves you right.

So on Friday when I was doing my hair while talking to Amelia who wouldn't leave me alone I noticed the dreaded little black bugs in her hair.


Holy fetching crap. Do I hate lice!!!! I didn't freak out. Yes I did. I was panicked because not only did my sweet innocent child have lice but I was watching all my super fun weekend plans go out the window.

The boys were scheduled to go for a sleep over to their auntie's house and I won't tell you how much I was looking forward to spoiling my girls that night. Okay, yes I will. I was really super dooper looking forward to not having them around. I love them, I do. But sometimes...........

It was like when you have foster kids and you set up respite for the weekend and then you live for that weekend like it might be your last. It was like that only...... not.

I'll stop now since I officially just made the 'worst mommy of 2011' list.

Saturday we were going to have a little dinner party but, alas, lice in the house equals a weekend of hell and frustration and not dinner parties and sleepovers.

I immediately went to the drug store and bought a not recommended form of lice control.

See, years ago, when Cicely was in playschool she got lice. I did the Nix thing. And when the lice came back I did it again. Then when the lice came back I did the natural thing. Melaleuca and Tea Tree Oil. Then when the lice came I back I bought a gun and two bullets and some hair dye. I dyed her hair and if that didn't work I was going to shoot myself..... twice.

It worked. The lice was gone. So this time I just went and bought the dye. Amelia is the cutest little strawberry blonde kid you ever did see. Does this solidify my standing on the worst mommy list? Desperate times, man. Desperate times.

I bagged up anything and everything she has ever touched in the course of her lifetime and stuck it outside. Then I verbally thanked the heavens that the weather was supposed to get butt fetching cold again.

I did laundry and when it was done I did it again. Actually, even though there is no sign of those nasty little bugs anywhere I am still doing the laundry. She's five, she's touched a lot of stuff.

On Sunday, at church, I was obsessed with her hair and I sat and stared at it and picked through it like a monkey. I'm sure people thought I was disgusting, or crazy, or what have you.....

I wasn't convinced she was free and clear so I sent her and the man home. Then I went to drug store and bought some lice shampoo, the actual recommended form of lice control. I washed her hair and then combed through it for hours.

I let her watch Treehouse while I did it so as not to torture her too much. Me, on the other hand, where is that gun?

There was no school on Monday, thank goodness, and my time was freed up to do more laundry. Today I sent her to school.

After school I brought in all her toys, stuffies, beloved blankies and barbies. Oh the joy.

Heaven help us all if the bugs come back.

Also, today is day one of my sugar free month. It is 2:15 and I would kill for a sour soother.

Oh mercy.


  1. Oh Gawd, lice sounds horrible! Thank goodness I have kids who's hair can be shaved if lice enters!

  2. catherine! this is hilariously awful! i don't know what on earth i would do with lice?! thank goodness you have some experience with it.

    now, how are you? sugar free month? i am going to go crack open a bottle of coke, not a can, a bottle. it is going to go down so nice, it will be my second in an hour.

    i need a sugar free month. it will probably change my life. ok, i will, right after this coke. thanks for the inspiration.

    lice, lice, baby, do do do do dododo do.

  3. When my little girl with super-dooper long hair got lice, i immediately soaked her hair in olive oil and put on a shower cap. Lice breathe through their skin, so they will actually suffocate in this process.

    We rinsed that out (easier said than done) and all the live bugs were dead and floating. Then i washed her hair with tea tree oil shampoo till this day--and we've been good.

    DD's teachers also taught me a little trick--before sending girlie/or son to school, put a dab of lavender oil or tea tree oil behind their ears. LICE hate this! And will not stay to make a home.
    *Same for pillow cases.

    I will write down the hair dye tip though...perhaps i'll use that if I get it, lol!

    Lice begone!

  4. I still remember the year I got lice when I was 10 and I had a fur coat that had been my mother's when she was a little girl (that she got from her dad) And we had to get rid of it because of the lice.

  5. Is it too late to decide not to have kids so I can avoid lice???

    How, how, how do you resist that sucky lip? Melt my heart!

  6. I heard that song on the radio the other day & had to laugh. It's funny, but I didn't remember Vanilla Ice sounding so...white.

    Anyway, I don't envy you. Knock on wood, I haven't experienced that as a mother yet, but we are often on the lookout for the miserable little stowaways!