Wednesday, July 7, 2010

the great bird massacre of 2010

The killing spree continues. Remember awhile ago when the man killed chivalry? Well he's at it again and this time he's really stepped it up. I have thrown around the idea of blogging my day at the reno and what I would say. I have gone back and forth. Back and forth. Back..... and.... forth. When it first happened I thought it had blog post written all over it but then as I thought about it I thought I'd better not say anything because people may think me sick and twisted. Why would she share something like that, you'd say.

Let's start with something tame. I painted today. Phew, that was easy.

Let's see...... the counters look GORGEOUS and I think we may have won over the two biggest skeptics of the counter tops. 'Jesse the finisher' and 'Brett the realtor'. They say they are converted so I will believe them and ignore MY skepticism that they are telling the truth and leave it at that. You may be wondering what I am talking about. What kind of counter tops, you're thinking to yourself. Well, I'll save that for another day. For today, they look GORGEOUS.

Hmmmm, I helped build a deck. My first deck. I'm so handy. I'm not sure the man will let me touch his fancy drill ever again but it was fun nonetheless.

Oh, and then there was the GREAT BIRD MASSACRE. I say great but not great as in it was awesome. It was great as in a great many birds either lost their lives today or were displaced from their homes. The man kills again. I had trauma people! T-R-A-U-M-A!

In the back of the house there were about 5 holes where over the last few years birds have pecked their way into the exterior of the house and made nests. We needed to replace those ruined boards with new ones and paint them. The nesting had to stop. He tried to find a humane way to move the nests but they were so deep and so big that removing them unscathed wasn't an option. He had two choices. One, fill the holes with something and tomb those nests up. Or, two, remove them, despite the wreckage and upheaval this may cause.

It didn't matter the choice, they were both sick and unsettling. It was a blood bath.

It was trauma.... even the man was traumatized by the end. Now is where I fight with how much detail to share. I wanted to unload and share EVERYTHING because it was so disturbing to me but I have since decided to keep the trauma to myself. Maybe share it with my therapist because I am certain that after this little project we have undertaken I am headed towards the looney bin. I think they have government funded therapists there, right?

So I'll leave it at this. Many birds, both able-bodied and otherwise, were evicted from their homes this day, July 7, 2010. A few got away but most did not. Some landed on my freshly painted deck, which is just.........t.r.a.u.m.a.

You get it right? If you don't, email me and I will send you pictures to help finish the story. And yes, I did take pictures but I did it for the therapist. Once I go catatonic and can't speak anymore from all the trauma I will need pictorial evidence that the trauma happened.

Oh, it happened.


At the little green house.

The great bird massacre of 2010.


  1. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010

    oh no!! baby ones and all? I don't know how you will be able to sleep next to a baby bird killer... Poor things...poor you...

  2. Wow, and I thought that having $20.00 worth of salmon go rotten (before the due date) was bad but you win! Your day was much worse!

  3. hahahaha Maybe I have no heart about animals but I say oh well. They won't be in your house any more. (when you grow up on a farm - at least OUR farm with my dad you lose all sympathy for animals!)

  4. A few years ago my dad and I were cleaning a bathroom vent of a birds nest with a shop vac. Suddenly the vac made the sound of being clogged up. It was disturbing to find a baby bird at the end of the nozzle. We sucked up 2 more baby birds. I think I screamed. We found a birdhouse that one of my boys made in cubs, hung it on the second story wall of the house by the bathroom vent, gathered grass to put in it and put the 3 baby birds in it. I think they survived because i saw their parents feeding them. My neighbour thought we were crazy. "I would've killed them" he said. I understand your TRAUMA Catherine. Those poor, helpless baby birds!! Now we have a nest with 3 baby robins outside my front window. I would protect them with my life! Well, maybe not my life, but I would use a baseball bat! My condolences, Catherine.

  5. I am sure the spot under our deck is known as "redrum" to all the pigeons in the neighborhood. We tried all humane ways to evict the poop depositing beasts - Mike ended up buying a bb gun.......