Wednesday, June 30, 2010

twilight bachelors

This morning I had the extraordinary opportunity to see an early viewing of the new movie Eclipse. I learned a few things from this experience. Things I wasn't expecting to learn today and will take forward with me as I live out the remainder of my days.

One, the Twilight movies get better every time they make one which is very unusual for sequels. Am I wrong?

Second, I am deeply confused by the choice of wardrobe for this movie. It was mostly just a hoodie fest. Dark brown, gray, black, what have you......There was some plaid thrown in for a little variety. Since when is a mud colored hoodie thrown over a plaid shirt even remotely attractive or feminine? What do these people have against cute clothes that flatter as opposed to depress the human eye? I just don't understand it. Vampires can't be pretty? Or vampires girlfriends? Remember that cute white peasant shirt Bella wore in Twilight? Now that was an attractive shirt.

Third, if vampires and werewolves can find true everlasting love with plain, mopey, mortal girls who dress like homeless boys then why can't Jake and Vienna? It is a mystery.......

See, I have done some research lately. All in the name of basic human understanding. I have never lowered myself to the level of watching trash on tv like the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. It is ridiculous and obscene. It is awkward and so beyond what normal people do that why would I, or anyone else, waste precious time on such garbage? I do watch Big Brother though, but that doesn't count because it just can't be compared to anything. It is entertainment at it's finest. (Why haven't they invented the sarcasm font yet? Get on that Cathie)

I digress. I have decided, though, that to better understand the general public I should watch some of what they watch. Like I said, research. So I watched the last four episodes of the Bachelor and have watched all but one of this season's Bachelorette. This brings me back to Jake and Vienna.

By the time I was their age I had been married numerous years and had three children. Now, I'm not saying that everyone who is 28, give or take, should be married OR have children, never mind both. What I AM saying is that if I can be mature enough to maintain that level of responsibility at that early age then surely Jake and Vienna, or any of the poor ridiculous saps that fight tooth and nail to get on that show, can as well. Seriously people, how hard can it be to find yourselves on tv choosing love from a multitude of desperate souls who give up actual mature, responsible things to be there? Like jobs, and friends and apartments and stuff. Reality television coupling just makes perfect sense. There are cultures who advocate arranged marriages and they seem to be functioning just fine. So what is wrong with Jake and Vienna? They seemed so normal. No?

It does make one ponder the existence of true love. UNTIL....... one has the opportunity to view vampires who are bound to mortals by an undying eternal love that only death via getting your limbs and head torn off can break.

Thank goodness for these little moments to bring one back to reality and the eternal pursuit of true passion and love.

Edward is soooo dreamy.............. Go team Jacob!

Post edit:
As I wrote this I thought it was completely and utterly obvious that I was being a smart alec. I do not want any confusion. I do not look for love tips in the Twilight movies nor do I think that grown men and woman should even attempt to find true love and happiness on the set of the Bachelor. However, as bad as I thought the Twilight books were written and poorly edited I do enjoy the movies. I am a big enough person to admit that.


  1. So is Cicely allowed to see Eclipse? Hannah is just dying to see it this weekend.

    And on another note! I am all for team Jacob!

  2. I just watched all three twilight movies in a row in the last 24 hours and I agree they are getting better each time. They are going from a realllllly bad, to bad to ok. I guess I will just have to take my daughter's word for it and read the books, they are wayyy better she says.

    I agree on the wardrobe thing, but you have to know it suits her SULLEN (sullen cullen) character. Didn't you notice her bowling shirt that she wore in the 2nd movie? Wasn't that a nice change for you? She does dress normal for a sulky teenager don't you think? And as far as wardrobe goes, how about those werewolves and their lack of shirts. Some of them would have been better with shirts. That got a bit ridiculous in the snow as well as Bella and Edward freezing at night and then walking out in the snow in the morning with no coats on and short sleeve shirts....

    There were so many moments in those movies I had to laugh out loud because of the MELODRAMA!! But I guess I do remember being a teenager and I can see why it appeals so much to that age group. I just wanted to say LIGHTEN UP EDWARD AND BELLA through both the first and second movies, so it was nice to see them smile in this one once and awhile. oh the drama of it all.....