Thursday, April 22, 2010

The train and it's evil twin

Once a month I get hit by a train and about 10 days later I get hit by its evil twin. I have always had PMS and as a youth I was a mean sucker for a few days. I'm sure my siblings and parents would not argue this point but since I have had my fourth baby 4 years ago it has become exponentially worse. I have no explanation for this and my doctors offer no valuable advice, other than intrusive medical procedures. Since I am a lover of the idea of holistic healing I tend to avoid modern medicine as long as possible.

I started to see an acupuncturist for a different reason a few years ago and she promised to help me on both counts. She cured the original reason I came to see her for but when she moved away a year after I started seeing her she was baffled by my 'condition'. She referred me to another girl who practices the same type of acupuncture she did. This new lady, Heather, is a miracle worker but I am disheartened that, even though she helps my PMS to a spectacular degree, I still struggle with a few things regarding my cycle.

About three years ago, in an attempt to live a longer, healthier life, I went to see this super weird quacky massage therapist who also practices all kinds of kooky therapies. I went to see her for Lymph Massage but after a few sessions she turned it into psychotherapy and I wasn't about to pay $70 an hour to find out that my belly button prefers grapefruit oil to any other essential oil and that when Kevin called me fat in grade 7 it had long lasting negative effects on my psyche. (Thanks - but my four year old could have told me that.) Anyway, I stopped seeing her when she refused to do as I asked.

So here I sit, down and out, because my not so favorite monthly house guest showed up and stole my energy and zest for life and has left my 'qi' wanting. This 5 day gift that actually keeps on giving for 14 days because apparently I am so special I deserve it for longer than is necessary. Next week I will give Heather another $70 to tame the beast. In the mean time I will vent to the man while I seriously consider doing every intrusive medical procedure available to me. I will do this until the next train is due to hit exactly 10 days before its evil twin.

1 comment:

  1. I totally sympathize with you on this blog update Catherine. I too, have always suffered from a house guest that seems to come and wreak havoc. Even to the point that I once had to get a blood transfusion because of it's unwelcomed, unending stay.
    Oh to be a man. and never have to deal with it all. :(
    Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it, cause it lets me know that I'm not the only one who despises that "monthly" visit